Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
