wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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