I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
