Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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