Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
