yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
