Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
