it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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