No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
