I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
