Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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