I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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