Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize