We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Found your dick twin last night
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
