idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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