He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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