I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
