The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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