But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
