At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I had to cum in my sink.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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