It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize