He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize