My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
