I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
