her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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