walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
