yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
