Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
