I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
