whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
