I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize