dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
