turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
