He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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