there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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