I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
But theres a keg here and me gusta
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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