White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
