I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
