all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
