If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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