He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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