tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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