yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
