I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
