i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
