I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Is this like a preordered booty call?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
