i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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