if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
MIDGETS
????
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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