we have officially lost it.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize