i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
