1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
