not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
