It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
