That's when you crack a 10am beer
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
