New invention idea: vibrating tampons
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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