ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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